DAY 218..."If In Doubt, Stay Out!"

I did stay out of the waves and the water.  I stayed away from paddling this morning, the waves stood up like a rolling wall.  They rippled out into the horizon looking like a rolling wave machine and then the morning wind caught the top of them and blew the sea spray backwards off them like a movie set.  They slammed into the beach with the normal West Coast force, seeming to say, "I dare you!"  I have learnt a saying from Mr Caffyn and as I stood looking at this wild ocean as the sun rose, I thought of him as we had looked from his place at the waves.  I turned and with his saying in my head I walked back up the hill to watch for a little longer, for a change, for a chance to escape.  It needed to be real soon and MN was not having a bar of playing ball.  

For some reason last night I felt this could be the case and this morning my feelings came true.  Damn, blast and way worse was said, we both got really cold sitting firstly on the beach staring out to sea, counting and watching for a glimmer of hope or some calmer spot.  There were a couple of moments and a glimmer of a escape from the beach shore and then it was the second line way out the back that was the bigger concern.  As we studied for a little longer the wave sets would come peeling back and slam into the beach.  Before I headed up the track and back to Cuzzie and Jase, I sat on the beach for a while longer alone.  Very frustrated and very despondent.  I actually do not have the words for it except the description, much sucking of teeth, describes me, my mood and my frustrations.

As we are standing in the early morning sunrise a couple of locals walk past with their dogs, Riddick and Soul.  Kirsty and Paul stopped and chatted to us both.  We instantly felt like long lost friends and as we all cussed about the ocean I told them what we were attempting.  They laughed and said, "That water is looking shit, if you want we have hot coffee, come and drink that and stare at the ocean from our deck."  I thanked them and said I was still to make a decision, but deep down inside I had already downed the paddle, I just had to sulk for awhile.  It is not easy to be all ready, up early, prepped, packed and about to throw yourself at the day then to say, "No, you should not go out today."  It plays big games with my mind and I deal with it all day.  I was told to go and have a herbal tea and eat peppermint chocolate.  Another said take some lessons in meditation.  I know you all see me smiling most of the time but there are some serious moments and there are tears of frustration.  I try to change my location, my surroundings and so we head to chat and have coffee with the friendly locals.  Today it worked.  I could still see the ocean but it was yuk and I was doing okay, well sort of.  When we left from the house I made Cuzzie head back to the lookout point one last time.  The ocean had calmed a little but the day had escaped and the timing is all so important for this next section, the lack of light and the shorter days are all needing to be juggled.

We headed to a location in the sun away from the cold winds, ate some brekkie and I made a fresh pot of hot sweet popcorn.  It always makes me smile, thanks to Nat for this is her great snack idea.  I got myself sorted, I got stuff done.  We hope to have sorted Cuzzie's roof leaking, (bet we get no rain now!) we washed and dried things, we flung open the doors and I kept busy.  I chatted to others at the lookout while we worked on T2, Cuzzie and ourselves.  By the end of the day I am feeling happy with this day.  There was no sight seeing, track walking or cafe sitting.  I just found my 'hum' again for the day and for the trip north.  MN has certainly pulled the rug from underneath me this morning and taken my 'hum' for the day away for just a  little while.

Back at the Westport campsite and the biggest thanks to them for the donation of free accommodation for the night to assist with this charity paddle, it was so greatly appreciated.  A long hot shower with no time restrictions, the heater is on and it is a clear star studded sky tonight, it is going to be a cold one.  Tomorrow is a new day and who knows what it is going to deliver!  I most certainly am not going to hold my breath!

My smiles today:
The wonderful locals, their great coffee and attitude to living.  Big smiles also to Riddick and Soul the 2 dogs.
My normal happy 'hum' for life returning later in the day.
Taking time to give Cuzzie some well needed TLC in the sunshine.  She has not enjoyed all of the rain.
Another battle won by MN, she is a tough cookie...Respect!

My thoughts today:
Keep smiling and one day life will get tired.

Much 'Sucking of Teeth" waiting on my life's happy 'hum'.

Much 'Sucking of Teeth" waiting on my life's happy 'hum'.