Monday 7th March
If it was going to be easy, then everyone would be doing it. Shit, this morning was tough. I said no to paddling then immediately felt guilty, lazy and soft. I even said sorry for disappointing the support team. No is not very easy for me to say or accept and I have sat and pondered outside with the sandflies, the morning sunrise and my damp fire wood. To go, to stay, to have a crystal ball (now that would solve it all). Next trip I will locate one and pack it! Nat, please start looking on TradeMe.
With no one to blame and no one to dump my emotions on I sat, looked and wondered, was a 3m SW rising swell really that bad...YES! It is over what I outlined my limits to be so why the mental dilemma? I have no answer, but let me tell you all I am still not that rational. The best thing for my mind today was that no fishing boats came past, now that says it all about the weather. They are skilled, big and tough, and if they are not even on the water then bad weather must be on it's way. That does help to calm the caged tiger, well a little, not totally, there is still that crazy inside me until I get on the water and say holy crap you idiot.
To everyone who has had to sit on a beach, solo, and wait for a weather change, emotionally I am with you in every way. One day we may get to chat about what we felt, did, and how we pushed on. Maybe I am the most impatient, time will only tell.
I focused on chores, beach walking and fire building. I up-skilled my fire striking tool abilities, watched the ocean and waited, it may be four more days at this location. As the day continued whenever I found myself looking at the ocean and thinking, 'maybe,' I would go for a walk to one end or the other of the beach with my large white plastic carry bag and search for firewood. The sandflies were on form today, the bay I am in is sheltered so there is no wind to keep them away. It must be due to rain as there are clouds of them outside my tent now!
I spent all day outside, drying my kayak gear and moving my solar panel about until the tide was low enough to go and look at the many rock pools. It reminds me of days with my Dad when he used to take us surfcasting off rocks, only we had to be content to forage in the rock pools as we were not able to cast the big rods. I was in a happy place and having fun. Today become my lucky day, three sightings of white Paua, and of course no knife. So back to the campsite to get my Sony Action Cam, a container and the knife. Back to the rock pool and dinner sorted.
I discovered some really deep, clear rock pools, in fact one so big I had to take a swim, it was nice to sit neck deep in the cool water, I felt like a mermaid! You may all laugh at me, but it was good for my soul. I quickly changed and covered up again before the sandflies attacked me and carried on. There are deep rock pools everywhere and I have found a bigger one for tomorrows swim. I wandered towards the huge hole in the rock and there I found my next seven dinners. Huge bread & butter plate sized Paua, black and white, I am ecstatic.
Back at the campsite I cook my Paua in coconut oil with thick slices of kumera till crispy on the fire. I cannot control the heat on the fire so some are more crispy than others! The Paua is sweet and tender, I can't leave this location until my newfound stash is eaten :)
Day three at Green Islets was a challenge, but when you are solo you have to sort yourself out, and for me it seems a better way.
My smiles today:
The amount of tracks on the beach from me walking up and down, calming the caged tiger.
Practising handstands on the beach, no improvement yet!
Sitting engulfed in woodsmoke to try and find some peace from the sandflies!
Skinny dipping in my rock pool.
My delight on food foraging (Tim the Blue Cod will be getting steak as bait, how dare you suggest Paua)
My bed tonight, I am at ease now.
I am so glad I do not have a mirror!
My thoughts today:
How the really small things in my life make me smile and be happy.