DAY 194...It's Going to be Tough

There is always to be one or two tough sections on all of these NZ coasts and I can name them as if they were yesterday, they are never forgotten and each one is as clear in my mind as if it were yesterday.  They have taught me weather lessons and a new way of looking at this life we are given.  Somedays I really fight tooth and nail, smashing head first into the day, not side stepping past a bad moment and resisting learning anything more.

I am sure I knew deep down that a bad day on this part of the West Coast was to be tougher than the long solo sections of Fiordland, as I do not mind being solo.  Mother Nature has dug deep on what she wants to throw my way and it is big harsh ground swells.  I am utterly impressed with the force of the ocean over the past few days.  This morning I even went out and felt the ocean, I got up close and personal, then walked away licking my wounds from the mornings head on encounter. 

Two hard rough and tough battles were fought in an effort to get out.  Totally cold and wet I sat in my kayak watching and waiting for a calm patch to launch for my third and final try.  Nat, T2 and I all got slammed and after 1 hour, 23 minutes I said nup!  I then stood on the beach full of adrenaline, cold to the bone, staring out at a wall of white water and waves, again convinced if I made a run for it I would make it!  Nat had got into Cuzzie, had the heater on and was making mugs of tea yet I continued to stare at the ocean.  Sort of a standoff between MN and me.  Then the door of Cuzzie flings open and Nat is yelling loudly at me to get inside and warm up!  It is best to describe this as enough is enough, this battle is over.

We sat and drank hot tea, after a while the warmth returned but the adrenaline still pumped in my veins.  I was frustrated at my loss of this most recent battle between the ocean and me, I did sit and sob for awhile as I tended to my still fresh battle wounds, quietly happy my bleeding nose was not as bad as I first thought.  After warming up I climbed in the front of Cuzzie to gain some kind of phone connection, to also have a small solo meltdown and still be able to watch for a possible calmness on the ocean as it got closer to high tide.  Ha, I am insane and crazy, even after being knocked still I am hopeful to get a little further north.  Today it was not ever going to be possible.  I called the only rational, unbiased person I know.  Nicked named 'The Master,'  he slowly calmed me down as we talked.  He told me lots of truths, lots of great rational calming stuff and I am in for some serious emotional debt.  It will be repaid I promise.  My friend you are always talked about by the Redz NZ team.

It was past high tide and it was now past being a paddling day.  Nat was needing to get away from the ocean and dragged me away from this beach.  While I continued my phone counselling session she started to unload T2 and pack my gear.  I joined her and we loaded in a sort of half silence.  We drove to Westport and aimed for the local small market to grab some cold meat from a stall, alas she was not there selling today.

Next diesel, gas and a new light bulb for the headlight of Cuzzie, now the fun began!  Finally success started, an amazing young girl at the Caltex station, Morgan, she made the day turn around.  So helpful and friendly, successfully between us all we got a new lightbulb installed.  She rocked and made the day for us both.  We then parked in the sunshine and did the usual stuff.  Dry gear, clean and chuck stuff out, paint my toe nails red(!), eat lunch and drink a hot coffee.  It was time for me at last to loose my angry attitude, while we sat in the sunshine and knitted!  We cut out the remains of the sand filled, damp, smelly carpet from Cuzzie and we totally dissected the past two days.  The black hideous clouds in our world seemed to get light and sunny like the day.  Before we departed I threw some dye onto Nat's hair and we drove back along the roads towards my beach of the morning.  Finally this beach and ocean seemed in a better mood as well.

Campsite Charleston we returned too, we were warmly welcomed, I love this campsite.  Dinner cooked, totally enjoyed with me scrapping the roasting pan clean of the crispy chicken.  I am feeling less frustrated and maybe a little more accepting.  Well maybe, let's just see.

My smiles today:
Being yelled at by Nat.  "Red get inside and get warm!"  "I don't want to hear your story, get inside now!"
The 'master', all of team Redz adore you.
The warm wind and sunshine
The Caltex girl, Morgan.
Red toenails.
Roasted crispy chicken nibbles.
Nat and I knitting In the sunshine.
Attempting the mountainous waves of water!
The sunset.

My thoughts today:
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight real."  Steven Furtick

Till tomorrow, good night from a calm and happier team Redz.

PS.  The first part of the Fiordland video is now live!  See below for link :)

Red and T2 dwarfed by the huge swell this morning

Red and T2 dwarfed by the huge swell this morning

First section of the Fiordland paddle